Sunday, March 29, 2009


Don’t you sometimes wish you could just write titles? Like being one of those people who get to coin color names or company names. Now, in conjunction with the Bulwer-Lytton Award for the worst fiction, we also have The Diagram Prize for the Oddest Book Title of the Year. Here’s the shortlist:

I Was Tortured By the Pygmy Love Queen
How to Write a How to Write Book
Are Women Human? And Other International Dialogues
Cheese Problems Solved
If You Want Closure in Your Relationship, Start With Your Legs
People who Mattered in Southend and Beyond: From King Canute to Dr Feelgood

My personal favorite is Cheese Problems Solved. It just suggests an urgency that you normally don’t find around enzymes and whey. Trying to come up with poem titles usually seems like the last thing one does, like assigning names in fiction (for important but frustrating characters previously referred to in muttered undertones as “Sir Badinage,” or “Bastard #5”). You’d think with the potential abundance of... er... virtual rewards of the internet that there would be more fringe-y contests.

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